FEMINISM: NAAM TOH SUNA HOGA

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“You know what, it’s her choice”

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Okay now, what just happened?

Umm. Okay, let’s rewind a lil bit.

(Btw, those who got it, bade tezz ho rahe ho aap)

 

 

“Kimaya, get out of that damn room and come have your dinner!”

“Chill yaar, mom I’m coming!”

 

I came out, sprung up and crashed on the sofa as usual and hunted through the TV channels, as mom served me food.

“God! These Sony max people barely have anything else other than Sooryavanshi airing 24/7. Ugh!”

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Okay now, yes, I was actually, dumb enough to settle on roadies revolution on MTV. Now I look back and be like “Kya din aaye the mujhpe…”

Now patiently watching such kinds of aberrant reality shows was the crux of the matter, a mighty task.

“Chalo koi naah, dekh hi lete hai…..”

 

Auditions were being taken, in a behemoth room which visibly stunk, but of course, not for them. And I was unfortunately fortunate enough to witness that one, specific one.

“Next contestant”

And he entered.

Chiseled, well-sculpted, loaded guns and his machismo( male pride) popping out and shining bright, occupying all the possible space in the room, as he walked in and squared up to the (so called) judges.

After an array of hilarious questions, the judges shot another twisty puzzle at him, which later turned out to be beneficent for all the roasters and trollers, (clearly as you might’ve seen), so here we go.

 

As the question goes, “have you ever hit someone of the opposite gender?” they asked him.

“I had a girlfriend in college. And all I expected was loyalty from her. But when I found out she had 5 more affairs, I impulsively, slapped her. I could’ve done anything to her, but I just, slapped her.”

 

Dekh rahe ho kya chal raha hai?

Okay now, what that girl did, was abysmal, but slapping her or I say, hitting anyone, irrespective of gender, does not answer the call. Now, yes, both of them went down the wrong lane.

Par nahi, hume shanti se yaha thodi rukna hai. Neha dhupia TRP kaise badhati hai yeh bataye bina hum nahi chup baithenge!

So then, Neha dhupia (yes they’ve made her a judge) got all livid and furious, ready to blow her top and spit all the venom onto him, and here’s what she said;

“WHO ARE YOU, TO SLAP, A GIRL?!

WHO GAVE YOU THE (let’s not say the word) RIGHT, TO SLAP A GIRL!?”

And a hell lot of vituperation and abuse came on his way.

Chalo ab yaha tak sab kuch thik tha. Just to push everything up a notch, then she says to him,

“You know what, it’s her choice. May she have one or five affairs, it’s her choice. You are no one to expect a damn thing from her; she can do anything she wishes.”

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Nahi bass. Milti kaha hai yeh sasti feminism!? 

Nahi matlab kya hai yeh!?

And exactly that’s when it hit me so damn hard, and my brain just started scrutinizing every single incident around, and searching for feminism loops in our society. I unpretzeled my mind and literally saw how stupid and harrowing feminist ideologies many of us are living with, and how the world around us has kept the pristinity of feminism alive.

 

“Chale jab tu latak matak saanse jaaye atak atak”

“Tu coke ki bottle main tera opener tujhe gat gat main pee lo”

 

Are naah, yeh toh apna Bollywood hai!  Where actresses (attempt to gracefully) perform on these songs which also tend to become their assets in career. They call themselves feminists and also get projected as objects of desire and get commoditized on screens. (No offence) 

We see so many rock-solid women around us, our own mom, who tirelessly works day and night for us, all the amazing maids we have at our homes, all the superwomen we hear about, but only 1 out of 10 movies will showcase the real-life women and their tussles for life. What Bollywood has been showing us since ages, I find much of its content morally corrupted, but that, I guess, is overlooked greatly when it comes to fame and popularity. [Except all the matchless, top notch films which have portrayed the female protagonist eminently.]

Now this is pellucid and transparent enough. Misinterpreting feminism for one’s own vested interest is fake feminism. If this is feminism, inh actresses ko mere 10 salaam thokne hai, bass.

 

Now feminism is an ambiguous topic to talk on and can have myriad interpretations, though it’s not that of an intricate web, but kisko train pakadni hai, padh hi lo na aage tak…

Ohkayyyy let’s get serious now….

So let’s pay reality a visit.

Feminism can be minblowingly tricky sometimes. In-process feminists may stumble upon a fine line of dichotomy between superiority and equality and often get trapped in the superiority-inclined feminism, (kyunki bhai, un logo ka faila hua business hai). And I would dare to aver, that, yes; most of us tend to promote fake feminism just for the consequential advantages.

 

Now the harsh, in-the-face reality.

Under-rating / backbitching boys or men isn’t feminism.

Wearing bold or exposing clothes isn’t feminism.

Using and treating men as ATMs isn’t feminism.

Hating all the men in the world whilst gossiping about other females isn’t feminism.

Consistently attempting to escalate the turbid thought of achieving domination over men is also, not a part of feminism.

(And yes I have also seen news where females have threatened men to accuse them of rape or harassment due to some petty reasons.)

 

All such tangential theories about feminism act as a deterrent in the actual progress of the society. (Yes I said society). Because, feminism was, is and never should be only about the females just coz of presence of ‘femin’ in the word feminism. It’s about equality, not superiority. It’s about empowering women to grow and develop out of the horrifying darkness which they have been inured to, since ages. It’s about fighting for their rights to be shoulder-to-shoulder to men, and was never about hating men and trying to push them out of the game.

Feminism was started so that women get the right to vote, to education, the freedom to express, the right to equal pay checks, their right to employment, to be able to serve for their own nation, to join army, navy or air force, to make their nation proud, but today, what we see is girls call themselves feminists, as they were the shortest possible clothes (no offence), and will gather in groups and discuss how her archenemy has turned fat.

I have also seen some girls’ philosophies that freedom is to wear anything you want. Yes, it definitely is, but it shouldn’t be mixed up with wherever you want. Temple, house, swimming pools, weddings, they all demand a specific attire. But exchanging the placement and debating on feminism and freedom then, isn’t acceptable.

So if, we can see these highly visible banal differences around, can we change anything? As long as we don’t entirely ruin the core values of feminism, we can at least pull ourselves out of the paradigm shift, that our generation has put us into.

[Going a little 'beside the point', I would also love to throw light on menstruation. It has been a taboo for too long now, and we have to, we just sooooo have to get rid of it. If you are supporting feminism, talk about it openly. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and nor it should be. I personally think, boys/men should not be kept away from this topic coz they need to know about it the most. I have seen children asking their parents which napkins they show in the commercials, when again, their question remains unanswered. If not at that age, inform them about menstruation and how it’s a beautiful, natural phenomena occurring in female body, at least some years later. This isn’t the case with girls, as of course they are told about it someday. But I think each and every one should have adequate substantial information regarding menstruation, and ofc, not make a joke out of it.]

Coming to the point again.

 

Let’s first grasp that, feminism is not a conundrum. It’s not that overcomplexed as it may seem.                        

 Secondly, anyone, irrespective of gender, can be a feminist. As ‘feminist’ is not a sexist word or a sexist ideology, it is so not necessary for feminists to be females only.            

Then, I would say, let’s not clutter our minds and get bewildered between feminism and misandry, misandry being a term for the hate towards men. Yes. For being a hard-core feminist, you don’t have to hate men; coz then it would alter the entire feminist ideology. 

The next thing would be, preferring to be an equalist, instead of a feminist. Coz that’s pretty axiomatic. All you want to know about that term lies in that word itself. Equalism is the exact need of the hour. Feminism focuses on women rights, highlighting the need of equal treatment and opportunities between men and women, whereas Equalism employs a broader and more comprehensive approach, promoting equal rights for all, without distinctions.

Abhi aap bologe ki kya yeh females se nafrat karti hai and all. But well, you might be wrong. I don’t want to hurt any gender in any way, it’s just that, I get pretty vexed when women use their gender to be a VIP pass sometimes, and whatever situation it may be, I personally find it wrong. I am definitely proud of being a woman, but simultaneously, I think of men and women to be equal, none superior to other. I definitely support feminism (in its pure, pristine form) but also prefer to see the world in an equalist way. Many female friends find me an anti-female person, but, I’m like, okay, fine, there’s a confound contrast between what you think of my opinions and in what school of thought my opinions actually preside. Anyways.